So That Happened

Hey guys and gals! Remember that time that I made that big to do about relaunching my blog back in 2010? Yeah, me neither. Let's move past that shall we? Here we are half way through 2011 and I have been extremely busy not doing any writing. In the interim I have managed to kill several plants, eat my weight in Trader Joe's Honey Wheat Pretzels, and get myself into a new Broadway show. So you know, I've accomplished at least one more item on my bucket list, plus I got into another Broadway show. It's been a good year.

So here I am happily ensconced in my dressing room at The Music Box Theatre for the next couple of months. It's been lovely up until ten minutes ago when I was bitten in the ovary by a horse. Let me back up. I wandered down the stairs onto 45th street during the intermission to do my nightly wave across the street to Chris Rock. (We have a thing going. In my mind. It's complicated.) So there I am doing my best casual lean against the street lamp when a mounted NYPD officer wanders up with her beautiful brown mare. She ties him to the post next to me. I think nothing of it. That is until the horse casually leans in and takes a bite out of my uterus.

"Excuse me mam! Could you please not touch the horse!"
"Um, I didn't. It just bit me."
"Well can you not STAND there?"
"Uh, I work here. Sorry I..."

At this point I waver as I come to realize the searing pain coursing through my midsection. Naturally she is all apologies and offers to find me first aid.

HA! Just kidding. She basically gives me a look that reads, "Idiot standing in the way of my psychotic horsie's mouth," and then ignores me as she moves on to trading riot stories with her fellow mounted GED candidates.

So that was a whole heap of fun. I stumbled into my stage manager's office and very dramatically retrieved an ice pack for myself from the freezer. I can now cross "Get bitten by horse" off of the bucket list so really that's two whole things that I have accomplished so far this year. All that plus my imaginary relationship with Chris Rock and this might turn out to be my most productive year to date. Doubtless I will be seeing this image in my dreams for the next several weeks. Yeah. Horses are total assholes.