Match.com...and so it begins...

This is Shaharyan.
He is one of the many nice men who have written to me since last week when I joined Match.com.
Shaharyan is 44 years old, the divorced father of more than 3 children, and he lives in Kuwait.
In his own words Shaharyan is,

"LOOKING FOR NICE LADY SHARE MY LIFE AND LOVE AND I AM SEXY MAN AND KNOW HOW I CARE LADY AND I LIKE TO BE WITH MY NICE LADY ALL MY LIFE IN NICE LIFE ."

The title of Shaharyan's post reads,

"LIKE TO HAVE NICE LAY IN MY LIFE."

Wouldn't we all my friend? Wouldn't we all?


This is Rock Guy.
Doesn't he look sweet?
Rock Guy sent me a wink on Match because he was smitten with my profile.
I was so flattered! What a mensch!
So I checked out his page and indeed he looked like a really nice guy.
Rock Guy is a musician, a gemini, a vegetarian, and a witch.
Yup, that's right...a witch.
You know like brooms and cauldrons and I live in my Mom's Garage and D&D rocks?
Rock Guy ends his post by saying, "Freaky Chicks Welcome! LOL!"
Somehow I don't think attracting freaks is going to be a problem.


Radiogeek611 is 47 years old but he is only seeking women between the ages of 25 and 40.
I mean come on!
The guy has way too much to offer to give it away to some old hag of 45!
Radiogeek611 had two pictures that were both so appealing that I really couldn't decide which one to post.
So here I am presenting you with both in the hopes that you can help me to narrow this field down a little bit.
God, I feel like The Bachelorette at the Rose Ceremony!
How ever do I choose?!


And this brings me to my absolute favorite prospect thus far.
This is Hotcake555 and if you take one glance at his passport picture here I am sure that you will agree no other screen name could have done this man justice.
Hotcake555 is 54 years old, still married, has 3 children, and lives in Western Australia.
No worries though mates.
Hotcake makes almost $25,000 a year!
That seems like more than enough dough to buy the kids some tetanus shots, and fly new mommy to the outback in style!


Can I take a moment here to ask you guys some serious questions?
Is there some sort of growth protruding out the back of my head that none of you have alerted me to as of yet?
Do I have a persistent odor of street meat that lingers around my being?
If you put me in a tent in the town square, do you think people would pay a nickel to stare at me and point me with sticks?


Yes I have joined Match.com.
Yes things have gotten that bad, thanks for asking.
The last guy I met in a bar turned out to be an Orthodox Jewish father of four who "wasn't quite divorced yet."
Here's the deal kids.
I have all of my teeth.
I don't have leprosy.
There are no kids in my house, just the world's greatest dog.
Oh, and I'm a kick ass Broadway actress who just happens to be sexy, funny, smart, and modest.
Should this really be so difficult?
I am not renewing my passport just so I can go on a first date.
Fortunately Radiogeek611 lives in Maryland.
Hope springs eternal.
I'll keep you posted.