Michele Bachmann Blows Way More Than Carbon Dioxide

So I am through with dating. That's it. Done, over, hasta la vista jack offs. After my most recent evening with a man who, in what I can only assume was a misguided attempt at affection, grabbed my right breast and squeezed it like an air traffic controller palming a stress ball, I have decided to take a much needed break from the dating world. So here I am back to doing what I do best. Complaining. You're welcome.

Tops on my list of complaints this week: Rep Michele Bachmann of Minnesota, or as I like to call her, Lake Wobegon Barbie. Sweet merciful Christ this woman sucks out loud. When Sarah Palin came along I thought that we had reached Defcon 5 on our scale of criminally stupid cheerleaders masquerading as public officials. But Michele Bachmann makes Sarah Palin look like Stephen fucking Hawking. Don't believe me? Check out this little wisdom McNugget that Bachmann recently bestowed upon us:

"Carbon Dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that Carbon Dioxide is a harmful gas."

I'll give you a moment to let that one seep in. Much in the same way that excess Carbon Dioxide could seep into your bloodstream and kill you. Here's another personal favorite:

"Normalization (of gayness) through desensitization. Very effective way to do this with a bunch of second graders, is take a picture of 'The Lion King' for instance, and a teacher might say, 'Do you know that the music for this movie was written by a gay man?' The message is: I am better at what I do. Because I am gay."

Okay, first off I think it's rude to just out Sir Tim Rice like that. And secondly, for serious? So part of the gay agenda is to convince children that butt sex will make them better musicians? Michele's logic train seems to have stalled while boarding passengers at the station. If gay sex made you better at your chosen profession than Clay Aiken would be the next Sinatra. This woman needs to seriously get a grip. I just pray that when she does it doesn't grab a hold of the American public.