Thursday, February 26, 2009

The First Month of Club $405

Unemployment is one sick, twisted bitch. On the one hand you get to do all of those things that you couldn't do as a decent productive member of society, like watch The Real Housewives of Orange County for seven hours straight while color coding your pantry, or re-organize your bookshelves by author's year of death. On the downside you can quite quickly drive yourself halfway to the turnip farm by doing nothing but said repetitive, obsessive tasks. A man needs an ambition, a goal, a purpose other than assuring that kidney beans are stored alongside pinto so as not to disrupt the flow of mauve.

Being an actor is all about ups and downs. The work is there and then suddenly it's not. One day you are eating bagels sent from Sutton Foster, and the next you are counting quarters to scrounge up an egg and cheese from the deli. I had an extremely fortunate run where I did not have to ask anyone if they wanted fries or salad with their burger for three years. As a performer in New York that's pretty much as good as it gets.

I asked a friend the other night about his catering gig, and if it was decent, and if so could he get me in, and he gave me this incredulous look as if I had just asked him if he could score me smack. "But you were on Broadway?" He said looking at me with the pity usually reserved for those sleeping at the Port Authority Sbarro.

Oh sweet lord and baby Jesus.
Seriously kids?
Is this how it is going to be from now on?
If tragedy of all tragedies I somehow never work on Broadway again am I going to be looked on as that woman who once had something grand, and then never rose above it? A South Jersey Blanche DuBois past her glory, long since forgotten by those who once adored her?
Oh please.
It may be summer stock in Branson but I will get another gig. How many people luck into a show that wins eight Tony awards? It's kind of an impossible act to follow. I will wait tables if I have to. Buddah knows I have done it before. I will eat Ramen noodles, and forego my daily espresso. I will once again live like the starving artist I once was as opposed to the Broadway actress I got to be. And hopefully someday soon I will get the chance to play the Great White Way again. Because in all honesty people Ramen noodles are just shit.

2 comments:

sumzy said...

It could be worse you could work the front desk at a gym scanning cards and passing out towels all the while wondering "how did I get here? I am supposed to be in nyc right now waiting tables worrying about that big audition!!" but noo I went from los angeles to san francisco to portland oregon a city pround of ducks, beavers and the fact that parts of twilight were shot here.
So really I envy you

Skinnie Minnie said...

Hey don't feel so bad... you have your dog to cheer you up! Gotta love him... Honestly I rather have no job knowing that my show was closed than leaving the job because your ex was an unstable pyscho. Don't worry something will come!