Hello readers! Did you miss me? Of course you did. Sorry it's been so long since I wrote but I have been busy fighting off gentlemen callers with roses and chocolates all day, and man am i spent!
Hey do you guys know the really great thing about Valentine's Day?
If you answered "nothing" you are exactly correct!
Valentine's Day bites.
Straight up bites.
Here's a fun fact kids.
Did you know that Valentine's Day actually commemorates the hanging of St. Valentine? Indeed.
And what better way to celebrate the martyrdom of a saint then a stale Whitman's Sampler am I right folks?
Like I need another freaking reminder that I am not in a relationship?
Thanks Hallmark!
Maybe tomorrow you could cut me with all of your unsold cards and then douse me in lighter fluid.
Good times.
So basically today was spent sobbing and pelting people with those candy hearts that taste like chalk.
If you were anywhere near midtown today and you got hit with one of those it was probably me.
Sorry.
However I see now that it is 12:05 AM and that means it is officially no longer Valentine's Day!
In fact it is 364 days until we have to deal with the next freaking Valentine's Day!
Hallelujah!
Later gang!
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3 comments:
here here... those in relationships can just bite me... and it means i don't have to go and spend money on pointless stuff that people only fake caring about...
i actually had to tell someone yesterday to not pity me because i was single... that's crazy...
although i have never even been in a relationship, i have no bitter feelings towards valentine's day... i like to give people candy :D
i was sick on valentines day, adn everyone thought it was becasue i was avoiding it!
...maybe it was
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