A Serious Sunday

Growing up I figured out very early in the game that I had strong steadfast opinions, and I wanted everyone around me to hear them whether they wanted to or not.
On the playground, no one could defend Roe vs. Wade quite as vehemently as I could.
Needless to say I frightened many, many children and was not welcome at birthday parties.
But still I made sure that my message was heard loud and clear.
It was my body, and my choice, and nap time be damned no one was going to be the boss of me!

I have come to realize that people with such grand delusions of self-importance often grow up to write blogs.

So now it's second grade all over again.
But instead of screaming at you about how Reagonomics are going to spell economic disaster for our nation's financial stability, and then driving the point home by throwing my carton of chocolate milk at you, I am here communicating my rants in a more civilized, grown-up fashion.

And I hope that one day Bill Gates will announce that we now have the technology to throw virtual chocolate milk.

That will be cool.

But until then this is how I feel kids. This is my blog, and these are my opinions, and if you don't like it well then you can just go to someone else's blog and play with them.

So there.

I friends, am something of a political junkie. I wouldn't say that I am obsessive or anything but I do follow party politics with more than a fair degree of attention.
So take this as a fair warning gang.
These are tough times, and I like a lot of other Americans am "pissed off and not going to take it anymore."
So buckle up y'all.
Because this bitch is about to get a whole lot uglier.

In the 2008 election, like every other self-righteous liberal out there, my candidate of choice is Obama.
He's my guy,
my big cuddly Bama-Bear.
He's been my candidate from day one and not only because I enjoy shouting, "Go-Bama! Go-Bama!" And not just because if John McCain wins this Stepford Cyborg on the left becomes our First Lady.
But because I truly believe that the man has the guts and the goods to rescue our nation from the aftermath of eight years of President Bombs-a-lot and his Ministry of Mass Incompetence. And I don't think I need to tell you all ladies and gentlemen that as a country we are desperately in need of some serious help.

We are collectively in what I believe might be referred to as "a Dilly of a Pickle", or in another manner of speaking, we are what our British forefathers might have termed, "Royally Fucked." I understand Thomas Jefferson had quite the potty mouth.
To illustrate what I mean here let's check out this chart from the Pew Research Center's Global Attitudes Project.

If you are having trouble understanding what this graphic means, allow me to put it in layman's terms for you.

Everybody hates us...especially Turkey,
and especially Spain.

I am oversimplifying of course but not by much.
Take a look at these numbers people!
The majority of Europe, the very soil from which our country first sprung it's roots, our allies for generations, our ancestors, our friends...
they think we blow.
They think we blow hard.
Check out this excellent essay from Sidney Blumenthal detailing Bush's disastrous trip to Europe last summer. It's not pretty. http://www.salon.com/opinion/blumenthal/2007/06/14/bush_foreign_policy/

Can we blame the rest of the world for their frustration?
Let's get nostalgic for a moment and take a little look back at all of the glorious triumphs that President Bible Jockey and his band of Death Eaters have brought us in the past seven years.

Well first there was 9/11.
And what a way to start a Presidency!
Now I am in no way saying that this administration bears the sole responsibility for the horrors that befell us that Tuesday morning in 2001.
What I am saying however is that I believe the aftermath of these events could have been handled with less, oh I don't know, complete and total incompetence.

So off we went to war in Afghanistan! And rightly so. Let's go get Osama!
That bitch burned my city!
And I like many others wanted to see him justly punished for the horrors he wrought on us all.

But wait...um, ok he's not here...wait did you check that cave?
You did?
Well look again.
No, no the other cave.
Well check behind that rock over there.
No that one! Is that him?
Oh wait...that's a camel.
Hold on here's somebody.
Who the hell are you?
Mohammed? Mohammed what?
Hmm...sounds suspicious and vaguely foreign...better throw you into an island prison in Cuba without due cause or any right to an attorney...ever.
That will teach you not to speak English in your own country!

Hey! I have an idea. Let's go to Iraq!
I hear they have, um...weapons...big kinds...like giant Super Soakers that can melt your face and stuff.
And that guy Hussein, weren't we supposed to get him in that last war?
Yeah the one your dad started.
Woo boy did he mess that one up!
But now I hear that he is in this secret James Bond lair making bombs from plutonium that he bought from Nigeria.
How do I know?
Don't ask me stupid questions.
It's un-patriotic.
And you take off those sunglasses when you are speaking to the President!
Oh you're blind?
Ouch.
That's my bad y'all. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifwBRRg1s5w

Oh hey we found Saddam! Cool we found him...in a ditch...hiding...without any bombs.
Well we got him so that's what counts right?
Now off to the gallows!
And here's yet another great idea.
He's a Sunni right.
So get this...let's have a bunch of Shiite guards do the deed, and they can mock him the whole time just to really infuriate the Sunni population. Then they can turn him into a martyred hero! http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/06/world/middleeast/06arabs.html?_r=1&oref=slogin Man our administration rocks!

Oh and um, apparently the city of New Orleans is under water now.
Sorry about that, that's totally our bad.
That picture above was taken in America folks.
It's not pretty, but it's the truth.
I apologize if you came here looking for some lighthearted reading, but they aren't all going to be happy posts guys.
Sometimes I just have to speak my mind.
So forgive me for taking the soapbox so early on this beautiful Sunday morning.
But I do this because I believe in what this country is supposed to stand for.
I believe in justice, in liberty, in true Democracy.
And this morning I have a little bit of hope for us all, that there may be brighter, clearer days ahead where America can once again stand as an example to other Nations.
Where I can be proud once again of the decisions we make and the rights we choose to defend.

And I look forward with great anticipation to the day when I can once again travel abroad with my head held high,
and not have to tell people
that I am from Toronto.
Have a blessed Sunday everyone.
Peace.