MEN!

Oh dear Lord, how I have neglected you my poor loyal readers!
I am so sorry for my long absence and will do my best to insure that I never leave you again for such an interminable spell.
You may have thought that after my last post I fell into some sort of depression induced coma. But fear not gentle friends!
The truth is that I have just been extremely busy with rehearsals,
organizing my sweet new bachelorette pad,
and dating.

You read that correctly kids.
I Frances,
of the awful Ex and the endless breakup,
have actually been on several dates this week.
I KNOW!
I'm kind of excited about it too.

I don't want to freak you ladies out too much.
But word on the street is that there are MEN out there!
Not boys mind you, but MEN, real men with actual careers, and genuine social skills, and minimal mommy complexes!
And some of these rare specimens have expressed a personal interest in little old me.
Who'd have thunk?

I stayed with the Ex for so long in such a bad going-nowhere relationship that I think I had forgotten that it could be any other way.
I was thrilled this week to discover that not all first dates end with the man crying and asking you if you have any money.
A few of them apparently save some of that juice for round two.

But the good news that I am hear to share with you women of the world is that there are indeed MEN out there!
Bang the gongs and sound the trumpets people!
I feel like one of the great explorers sighting land after endless months of abysmal sailing. Amen and thank you Jebus!

But I am sorry readers you will find no filthy details of this weeks' escapades here.
Yes, you guessed it.
I am using my blog to pimp myself out.
Okay, well not really.
But let's just say that the blog itself has decided to solicit prospective suitors for me completely on its own volition.
It's out of control. I just can't stop it folks.
What can I tell you?
Some guys dig a lady with something to say.
And dear God no, this is NOT an open invitation.
Please don't send me your photo and ideal date description.
We are not Match.com here people.
However some of the readers out there have enjoyed my work,
and I have enjoyed their attempts to woo me with promises of gifts and candy,
and thus we have begun friendly, tentative relations.
So hooray, yet another benefit to my self-obsessed lifestyle!

So other than the romantic liasons I have been working on my apartment here in Brooklyn.
My Ex had a lot of crap. Most of it stored in these giant horrible brown Rubbermaid tubs.
Not my speed gang.
So now that this place is free of his stuff it is shaping up into a really lovely home!
Jasper is the little dog that I kept as my companion and I could not ask for a sweeter pup to come home to. He is a six month old Cavapoo, which is one of those fancy hybrid dogs. In this case it's a cross between a poodle and a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
That pretty much means that he is so cute that he makes people stupid.
But we are settling in nicely here,
and next week I plan to begin the painting process.
Lilac Bathroom...very girly.
More soon friends.
I promise.